Start with the sauce. Melt the butter in a small saucepan on medium-low heat. Add the flour and whisk for 3 to 4 minutes. You want it cooked, not browned. Next, pour in the milk. Whisk until it's the consistency of heavy cream. Whisk in the cheese, a little at a time, letting each addition melt completely. Add the spices, plus a bit of salt and black pepper. Give it a final whisk, then cover with plastic wrap. Make sure the plastic touches the surface to prevent a skin from forming.

Put a medium nonstick pan on medium-high heat. Lay in the Spam slices and let fry until they're crispy on both sides, about 5 or 6 minutes total. Remove the Spam to a plate.

Add a splash of veg oil to the pan you used for the Spam, and throw in the garlic. Fry until they just start to turn brown, then add the rice. Toss to combine and break up any rice clumps. Let fry for about 5 minutes until the rice is hot and toasty. Season with a bit of salt and black pepper, then turn the heat down to minimum while you do the eggs.

Add a knob of butter to a small nonstick skillet on medium-low heat. Once the butter's melted and bubbly, crack in the eggs and hit them with a small pinch of salt and pepper. Put on a lid and turn the heat off. Let the eggs cook to your desired level of runniness (I find 4 minutes to be about right).

To assemble, put a heap of garlic rice down on a plate. Top it with a few slices of Spam, then top that with a couple of fried eggs. Spoon the cheddar sauce liberally over everything. Devour immediately.